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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can't just "back date" the separation.

You will be required to swear under oath that you have lived "separate and apart" for 12 mos.  (that means no sex).

If you are making plans to lie about that, you are comtemplating perjury.

You CAN live separate and apart in the same house if you cannot afford separate dwellings and you do your own cooking and chores.... basically one person lives in the basement and you have separate lives.

You are right to be concerned about the parenting and the 50/50 custody.  So many times the dad wants 50/50 so he can avoid paying child support.  From what you have described, he hasn't been parenting much and doesn't have the desire to.  Mostly has the desire not to pay child support.  Those are two different things.  I'd be very careful about agreeing to 50/50 custody.  You didn't say how old your kids are, but younger kids need a more patient parents -- not saying he would abuse them -- but it happens when people who aren't equipped to parent kids full time don't understand the correct expectations for younger kids.  And military folks are more likely to have "do it b/c I say so" parenting skills.  It can be a recipe for disaster.  Better to have shorter visits and see how he manages.

[/quote]

A lot of women only want the absolute in visitation so they get more child support.  It goes both ways.  Most military folks don't have that way as a parenting skill.  We are military.  Moms can abuse kids just a much as Dad's.  You sound like you are trying to screw over Dad.[/quote]

I'm military too.  I've seen enough abuse cases to know that there can be trouble when a parent who doesn't usually have much parenting responsibilities thinks they can "make" a younger child do X when told.  OP was the one who mentioned her concerns about her husband's abilities.  The military mindset "yes sir!, no sir!" is not compatible with young kids.  It's something to be alert to when thinking about custody.... depending on the ages of the kids.[/quote]

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