Reply to I found some VERY inappropriate social media comments about my D posted by one of her classmates

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Reply to "I found some VERY inappropriate social media comments about my D posted by one of her classmates"

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a school counselor and a parent. Here is how I would have handled it. 
1.) Told my daughter what I'd seen and asked her how she wanted to handle it. Ignoring it wouldn't be an option. I'd give her a chance to talk to the kid herself. She would not be surprised I saw the snap because she would know that I monitor her social media pretty regularly. That's part of our deal.
2.) If my kid wanted me to get involved or couldn't manage on her own, I'd tell her I was going to contact the kid. I'd give her the option to contact him with me. I'd tell her I wasn't going to be punitive but that he needed to take it down asap and understand why it was a mistake.
3.) Once I talked to the kid, if he did what this kid did, I'd tell him I was impressed with his ability to take responsibility and that I wanted to share his maturity with his parents. I'd ask him if he wanted to be there when I talked to them or to be on the phone when I called. Parents of a 14-year-old should know what's happening. The theme here is that I'm not doing anything behind kids' backs. Everything is on the up and up and meant to teach not humiliate or punish a kid who messed up but can learn from the mistake.
4.) I would not call the school unless it became a problem in school, meaning kids were making my kid's life miserable and talking about it there. And if I contacted the school, I'd tell my kid I was going to contact the school. Again, no secrets. I'd tell the school what I expected them to do. Too many counselors and administrators mishandle these situations. In this case, I'd want them to tell the boy they heard about it from someone who was NOT me or my kid, and that I did not want them to bring my kid and this boy together to "work it out." I'd just want them to tell the kid who did it what he had to do and let him know the repercussions of not doing those things. I'd also want them to tell him that if there was any backlash, he'd face additional consequences. I'd also want them to talk to him about why it was wrong.
5.) If the boy had been unrepentant and unresponsive, I would have told my daughter and him that I would be contacting his parents, end of story. Don't ever promise not to tell. 
6.) If the post was still up after all these efforts, I'd contact the social media app involved and tell them the post violated their terms of service and that I wanted them to take it down. They will.[/quote]

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