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[quote=Anonymous]This is definitely something that my grandmother would have done.  They just don’t see “toys” as the product of hard work, let alone as a work of art or creative endeavor.  The “how should I have known?” and just trying to help (passive aggressive, you aren’t keeping the whole house to her standards) combined with scolding him for not cleaning up lead me to believe that it might be something that can be fixed, although not likely.  Also, emphasize that you view the children’s bedrooms and playroom as their space to “decorate” with any projects they start/complete.  The only time that those rooms would need “cleaning” outside of the regular schedule would be if the kids failed to tidy up loose pieces when they were done, but that since she doesn’t know the storage system, it’s always safer and better for the kids if she just calls them to tidy up theirs mess.

In the short-term, I’d explain that this was the equivalent of taking out every stitch in several embroidered pillows and mixing it all up (it made a huge impact on my grandmother).  To your DS, this represents both his effort and his creative accomplishment, and he enjoys seeing the sets he built.  She doesn’t have to agree that it’s art, but she does need to acknowledge that she hurt your DS.  She has two requirement and two options: she will apologize to your son and acknowledge that she hurt him, then she can elect to sort the pieces by set (with or without his help, his choice, not hers), or she can go purchase all the sets she mixed up again.  After the sets are sorted or purchased, she WILL offer him the choice of whether he wants her help to rebuild.

I will say this: my grandmother understood much, much better once she helped rebuild one small set.  She was comparing it to cross-stitch, so at least she sees that there is a reason that the child was upset.[/quote]

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