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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, how were you raised? Did your mom insist you say grace? If not, then why not remind her of that. If yes -- well, I got nothin'. :)

I think saying grace is a nice idea, but like you, I find it very Christian so it doesn't come naturally to me. When i lived in Japan I got into the traditional pre-meal saying there: itadakimasu, sort of "let us partake" or "let us enjoy." totally non-religious, but a nice pause to appreciate the food you're about to eat.

That doesn't help you though. The bottom line is, it's your household and your child and you make the decisions.  If you want to find some Hebrew prayer you're comfortable with, even if it's just the brachah you say when you wash your hands before meal, go for it. But it sounds like you don't feel the need to say anything before you eat and that's your choice. Tell your mother you don't say grace, you don't want to say grace, and it's not up for discussion. However, also teach your kids that when they are with your mother or anyone else who says grace, the polite thing to do is to bow your head and be silent. If the grace is not outright religious maybe they can even say "amen." Maybe they can't. But they can be polite and respectful.

- a Jew who attended 12 years at an Episcopal day school[/quote]

Thanks for this. Of course I’ll teach her to be respectful when my mom says it. My grandma says the traditional Catholic grace and I always just sit quietly when she says it.

My mom used to say this sort of grace when we were kids but didn’t make us say anything. [/quote]

I figured. So tell her you've got the religious education handled and you don't want to say grace and that's that. (And depending on how old your child is, if you haven't enrolled him/her in Hebrew school yet, consider it. My 6 year old started this year in the kindergarten Sunday class -- and surprisingly likes it -- and he has learned so much in just a couple of months. He was singing the Hannukah blessings with us, with about 70% accuracy. I was astounded.)

I don't know how old your child is but this might be just one of those things that grandparents randomly fixate on. With my mom it's vaccines -- you'd think I was a crazy anti-vaxxer. She's constantly asking if my kids are properly vaccinated (yes!) and have I talked to the pediatrian about xyz. For DH's mom, it's making sure my kids watch enough TV to know all possible cultural references. I admit this is where we butt heads as I grew up fine largely without TV and i disapprove of many of the shows my kids' friends watch. So we've had a lot of conversations in which we talk past each other regarding the value of TV. The bottom line is they're my kids and DH and I decide what they watch in our house. Sounds like you need to have a similar conversation about saying grace and any other religious stuff. (Christmas tree? Easter? etc)[/quote]

She’ll start Hebrew school next year. my mom doesn’t push anything else Christian. She honestly just seems to have no sense that this is basically a Christian thing. She also suggested we have DD pray at bedtime (something she never had us do as kids).

Funnily enough, my Jewish dad doesn’t give 2 craps if we ever set foot in a synagogue again.

My mom seems to have just a lot of passion about DD being religious without the requisite knowledge to know how to help. [/quote]

I have learned, when any of my parents, inlaws, or grandparents make suggestions about how to raise kids, to nod and smile and say "I'll think about it." And then do whatever i please. Of course I do think about it but a lot of things are a nonstarter. Grace and bedtime prayer would be nonstarters for me too. [/quote]

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