Reply to Mental Load — All the Rage says men just flit it all away

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m reading ‘all the rage’ and it’s a bit hard to swallow. Tells of all these DHs which only do chores or take care of kids when told, try to maintain their independence and life before kids well after becoming parents, and always put their careers ahead of their working (and often breadwinning) DWs

One tale is about the mental load, such as summer camp regs, health forms, carpools, etc and how even after assigning a task to her DH he just blows it off until she does it

So many working moms manage and carry this load at work? Do any of their DHs DO task while at work, let along take initiative and carry some of that load?[/quote]

My DH shoulders far more of the burden than I do. While both white collar professionals, his job has more flexibility and zero travel.

While it sounds great, I honestly think he does it to control the financial aspect. As an example, I might simply ask the kids where they want to go to camp and pay whatever it cost, whereas he will shop around and sign them up for something less expensive. Similarly, he does all the grocery shopping and hires all the handymen/home project people.

Because he shoulders the burden (his choice), he’s often stressed out. I would be more inclined to just throw money at problems, but he won’t. [/quote]

IMO that's not fair of you. You both need to decide what to do and do it together. You can't just say that because he doesn't want to throw money at things that it's his burden to bear. That's what men say and why normally the mental load is on women. Unless you're making $$$ of course. [/quote]

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