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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I caught up with an old friend and we found we both have the same situation. We both have a pampered sibling who the parents cater to and favor. In both cases the sibling is bright and accomplished, but has few friends, is self-absorbed, cannot make a relationship with a significant other work and still acts very much like a spoiled immature child. When they visit the parents they are coddled, cooked for, driven places and fussed over. No diagnosed mental illness in either case which I guess does not rule it out. It's like the parents enable atrocious self-centered and immature behavior and yet in both cases a ridiculous amount of expectations are put on us, no accommodating and we set boundaries to keep our own family units healthy and happy and consequently we become the scapegoat. Just wondering how common this dynamic is.[/quote]

I was that child for a while, and I'm sure I still will be if we were ever in the same place.  For various legitimate reasons, I was academically more successful than my sister, which led to a good university and good job upon graduation.  She was caught in the vagaries of the civil war and substandard education, and therefore couldn't really get a good job that would support financial independence.  I ended up inviting her to come stay with me, and the dynamics were such that I earned the money and ran our social lives while doing absolutely nothing at home.  She took care of all cleaning, cooking, ironing etc.  Years later, I'm sure my mom sees me as a picture of success and her as a victim of circumstances - which she is, in large degree.  The odd thing is that we are very close and love each other very much.  [/quote]

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