Reply to Could you be with a man who cheated

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It depends.  How long ago did it happen?  What were the circumstances?  Was it an ongoing affair or a one night stand?  I don’t believe “once a cheater always a cheater”.  I think people do grow and change.  But I would definitely see it as a red flag.  I would need more information. [/quote]

I lean towards this too.  
Having been divorced because of cheating I never thought I could or would want to be with a cheater ever again.  However, the man I’m involved with now was the cheater in his previous marriage.  He’s been open about his past relationship and his flaws, the [b]relationships flaws[/b].  As carefully as I’m treading I do believe he’s sincere in his regrets on how his marriage ended and wants to be better going forward.[/quote]

That's great that a cheater has regrets and wants to be better going forward, but he can do that on someone else's time, not mine.  Often the cheater's regrets center more around the regret of getting caught and the regret of losing the nice aspects of life, but the cheater still doesn't have any insight into the serious damage they did the the victim spouse and kids.  And if a cheater is speaking about the "relationship flaws," then that is really a red flag that he still isn't taking appropriate responsibility for what he did.  Blaming cheating on relationship flaws is analogous to the behavior of an abuser who says his wife's behavior was bad enough to justify being hit.

Normal mature adults don't cheat their way out of a relationship -- they put on their adult panties and ask for a divorce and negotiate a fair custody and financial split and commit to being an excellent co-parent.

I'd never date someone who cheated. [/quote]

+1000 to all of the above.

To the cheated-on PP who is now dating another cheater (yikes), I hope you aren't dating my serial cheating ex-DH. He's a pathological liar (and he sprinkles little truths/half-truths in there to make it more believable). He also love bombs and mirrors. Very dangerous.
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