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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My daughter is in 9th grade.  She's coming to the realization that she's just not outstanding at anything. ANd for some reason that really bothers her.

She is such a great kid.  She's good at most things.  She's very coordinated and can pick up a sport and do fine in it... but she didn't start sports young and never specialized in anything, so she doesn't excel at any one sport.  She never winds any medals or comes in first at anything.

I think she makes friends easily and she is a good friend to others.  But she isn't super popular.

She scores OK on tests but never in the very top like her super smart friends she compares herself to.

She has to work hard to make all As in school. She managed, but only just barely, again not compared with a lot of her friends who (she feels) just do really well in school without really trying.

She likes to draw but isn't a gifted artist or anything.  She's played a few instruments but never got good at any of them and doesn't play in a band or orchestra. She has a nice voice, but has performance anxiety so she dropped out of chorus because she is scared to sing in public.

She feels like she doesn't have any interests or gifts or skills that she can be best at, or even that can be specific to her, can be her "thing".  I feel for her because she is unhappy, but I think she is wonderful.  She's just a great, all around good human being.

But I want to help her find something to feel special about.  Any ideas?

[/quote]Honestly, she just needs to be okay with her own pace. But as a parent, maybe you can take the time to help her stick with something and get good at it. It may be that you find music classes and take the time to take her to lessons playing the kind of music she really enjoys or she joins a sport and gets training in an area where she feels she can improve and feel confident. But in the end, it's really about teach her to be happy where she is, but know that she can always work harder to improve even if it is just a little.[/quote]

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