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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Help me with the mechanics of leaving my explosive/verbally abusive spouse"
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[quote=Anonymous]This was me 5 years ago. Get a therapist who is familiar with abuse. See if you can change your payroll at work to start sticking money away in your own account, but not so much he would notice. Yes, tell him by letter. And have people around you 24/7 for a while. I flew my dad in and my friend’s husband (ex-army ranger) was hiding in the basement with a baseball bat when he got home after getting the letter. I already had the apartment ready and furnished but didn’t want to grab the kids and run unless I had to. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Therapists are cheaper than lawyers for making safety plans. You can also find some on the internet, but those are just starting points. Also check out JCADA.org. If you go the apartment route, go for a high rise with a door man. If necessary, you may have to read your security team at work in. I did. If he is at all violent or makes any threats after he gets your letter (or before), get a protective order.[/quote]
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