Reply to Guilt that won’t subside over having an only

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We wanted one child and now we have a delightful three year old. I very much do not want a second child, nor does my spouse. But I still can’t make peace with the fact I’m “letting my child down” by not giving him a sibling. Most families have a reason for an only that’s from necessity, like secondary infertility. We just love our family and feel complete. But I have so much worry that having parents who feel complete and have fulfilled their family planning hopes means nothing when our son is dealing with dying parents alone.

If we had a second we’d end up giving him two unhappy parents, so I know we are doing the right thing for us. But I wish I had more certainty I wasn’t setting him up for a less positive outcome. Am I over thinking this? Happy kids come from all sorts of families, right?[/quote]

OP, my brother died a few years ago so now I'm the only one left to take care of my parents.  We have two close friends who have an only and they are SO happy (the child and the parents).  We had twins so ended up with two at once but would have otherwise considered just one.  Please don't worry about it.  And build a support system for your child.  Either blood relatives like cousins or friends who are like aunts/uncles/cousins.  My husband's sister is useless, so everything for his parents falls on us (emotionally, financially, logistically).  Beyond that, they're not close, so any support he receives when something happens isn't coming from his sibling anyway.  [/quote]

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