Reply to How do you parent with a husband who won't?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are micromanaging your 17 year old.

[b]I don't know if he doesn't parent for if he is trying to balance out your over parenting[/b].

It doesn't seem you are into finding something that works for both of you, your idea of compromise is he does it your way.

I never had a bedtime as a teen. I often started my homework at 10pm when I was 16-17. Was still successful in life. People are different and you have to be willing to work with them versus a my way or ultimatums.[/quote]

I do this.  Ironically, I’m the one that grew up in a very stable, happy home life with two parents.  My husband grew up in a divorced family with single mom working two jobs left to his own devices.  He never really saw a family function.

Unlike your husband, he is strict as hell and has an authoritarian-style of parenting.  His cousin stayed with us and nicknamed him “Captain No”:).

I have strict boundaries on sleep/no phones at night (plug in on kitchen counter).  But, my husband can be very controlling as in they can ha e 15-20 min of Xbox.  We laugh at that since half the time it takes 5-10 min to get Fifa20 going.  My boys are MS, straight A students that play competitive sports. They do chores.  They are good kids.  On days they don’t have practice I let them stay on the Xbox as long as they want...until Captain No comes home.

My husband has a tendency to think even the most minor things are “make or break”.  He will go into battle mode over the smallest things.  He is starting to see the light.  I always joke with him that parents of the 70s/80s did not get worked up over some of this minor sh@t.  He is a person that always has to be doing/accomplishing something.  It’s hard to get him to relax on weekends.

I definitely do the bolded—-balance out the extreme.  However, I agree that not setting those sleep boundaries is plain awful.[/quote]

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