Reply to I wish I could stay home for a year

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is not helpful, as hindsight is 20/20, but why did you decide to ramp up at work with such young children?

During the daycare years, I was really conscious about keeping the job that gave me the flexibility I needed.

Frankly, and I know this is also not helpful, but your husband sounds like a jerk.  I'd say the same if the shoe were on the other foot and he were dealing with health crap while you expected him to continue to work.

You need to think about the long game and build your life accordingly.  Keep in mind that you are likely to feel overwhelmed during the elementary school years as well - homework you'll have to help your kids with after a long day, sports practices, weekend games, carpools, other non-sport activities, and so on.  It is not uncommon for there to be 12+ snow days called by FCPS.  I know quite a few families that had to get an au pair or hire a nanny for elementary aged kids for these reasons.[/quote]

OP here, and I used to own a business. For a variety of reasons, it was time to shut it down, so I needed to find a new job-- I didn't want a gap on my resume. The place where I landed happened to be a fantastic opportunity for me-- the "ramping up" was not necessarily intentional. I do have some flexibility in that I can come and go as I please, and no one gives me a hard time about being out for an event at my kid's school, a doctor's appointment, etc. Telecommuting is not part of our office culture, though, so people only do it on an as-needed basis (plumber is coming today, waiting for a delivery, etc.).

I'm sure I made my husband sound like a jerk, but he is actually a pretty great and thoughtful spouse. My health issues were previously not a big deal/were under control, so these are more recent developments. I think he would support me staying home for a year-- we have even discussed the idea of him being the one to stay home for a year or two, until our youngest is in kindergarten. My biggest concern with taking a year off is that it might be difficult for me to re-enter the workforce considering that I'm on a new career path (it will be 2 years in March).[/quote]

I know you think your husband is great, but he seems really inflexible. Note that when you talked about him taking time off work you were considering “a year or two” Now, when you’re the one having health issues and feeling overwhelmed it’s “he does want the pressure of being the breadwinner” and “maybe he would be okay with it for a year”

I’m sorry, he just doesn’t sound like a great husband. Everything else is putting lipstick on a pig. [/quote]

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