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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you wrecked your post by saying you were the man and your spouse was the woman.

If you had left it ambiguous, everyone would have heaped hatred on your spouse because they would have assumed she was the man.

As soon as you identify as the man, you are mostly going to get negativity directed at you due to your gender. [/quote]

Absolutely.  I was making gender ambiguous.  I should have left it that way.  While this was my birthday...my expectation are low.  And she did not meet my expectations.  Nothing would have been better than waking me up to give me a jar of pasta sauce.  I was not in a chair, but rather was in bed.  I had been up since 4 am; I slept 3 hours the night before, because I was woken up at ten by my wife making a phone call in bed.

I know I am not a night owl.  Hell, I am up at 550 AM on DCUM right now.

In the 21 years of marriage, she has never given me something I wanted.  She gives me what she thinks I should want.  For example, she saw I have no sweaters.  So, she bought me a sweater.    I have no sweaters, because I do not like them.  I wore it once.  Another year, she thought I need slippers, Guess what?  My feet are always hot.  I would rather go barefoot.

I put a lot of thought into her presents, looking at where we are and what we are going.

I take care of having a nice dinner, either I cook it, or we go out someplace decent (like Arties).

In reality, we share all of the budget. I make 95% of the income, but it goes into a joint account.  And she is not busy with the kids, because it is kid.  and kid is self-sufficient.  And, when I am home, I take care of stuff with her.

[/quote]
This isn’t about your birthday at all. Fix your marriage. I’m sure there are two sides to the story. 
My husband is not thoughtful about birthdays at all. Like one year he completely forgot it. We still manage to have a good marriage. You should consider letting go of the gift expectation. I did and it helped a lot. 
As far as being home with a kid who is self sufficient so she’s “not busy” ...that makes me cringe. I am home with high schoolers and they are a whole lot of mental work. [/quote]

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