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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 82 y.o. father came to stay with us from overseas [b]for 6 months[/b]. It's been a struggle to make him do anything: all he wants is to stay in his room and watch TV in his native language. He [b]refuses to learn English[/b] with a tutor(swears he can't retain the new info), [b]refuses to go to the elderly daycare center[/b] where they have all the activities in his language, [b]refuses to read[/b] citing bad eyesight (it's not true, we had his eyes checked and he's fine), etc. He lies to me about [b]exercising [/b]and is also moody and grumpy. What do I do to make him more active? My older sister overseas is better than me in making him do things, but she is a pro at nagging. [/quote]

Are you serious? 
[b]Your dad is  82. Most people at this age are already long dead.[/b] Why are you forcing him to do stuff. He probably feels that he is done
doing and he just want to relax and do nothing much. He earned it probably too. Why in heaven would you force  him to LEARN 
English at this age when he is here only for  6 months? Why do you need to send him to a daycare where is bunch of strangers
who he probably does not want to socialize with? Why he  needs to excersize the way you feel fit.

No wonder he is moody and grumpy. He is not a child, not a toddler, he is an independent and old person who is also
your parent and he is nor running for a translator job, nor getting ready for a marathon nor need to catch up all
the reading in the world. He probably has nothing much to learn from books and if he does not want to read
them for pleasure but prefers to watch tv then why not?

It seems OP like you are OCD and have all organized and set for him and you just want to squeeze him into
your idea of fun for him. You need to stand back and see him for who he is. Really old person who also
really need some break and rest. At this age you don't need to make him productive and utilize
his every waking moment. Let him be.

Just let him be and choose whatever he wants to do, ask him if there is anything you can do for him
but do not ask him to do things for you, you already offered and he does not want to cooperate
just to make you happy. Let go.

Let go of everything and stop being angry at him as this is also reason why he is grumpy, he came
to feel loved and pampered a bit and not trained. Tell him how much you love him, tell him that
he is free to do anything he wants and then suggest that it would be lovely if he could accompany
you for a daily walk that you do, just for fun and some fresh air.

Take him shopping or just make list of his favorite food. Let him watch his TV. Ask whate
else you can do to make his stay more enjoyable. In 6 months he will be gone. This may
be his last trip. You never know. AT this age travel Is mor c hallenging every time.

Let go Elsa, Let go..

[/quote]

NP here.  The PP above sounds a bit too strident to be helpful.  And it's not accurate to make 82 sound like doomsday -- many people in their early 80's are doing quite well for their age.[/quote]

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