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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have three so I’m not opposed to bigger families, but it doesn’t sound like you want one. It’s perfectly wonderful to have two kids. No need to suffer through anything. Just enjoy your baby. [/quote]

+1 maybe you would enjoy the baby stage more if you had time to enjoy your kids rather than popping them out to “get this stage over with.”[/quote]

Hmmmm - interesting feedback. I just hate the first 6mo or so and then it’s ok until they drop to 1 nap and then it’s amazing.  Both of mine had lots of breastfeeding issues, sleep issues, and in general I feel like the first 6 months is just constantly trying to get them to eat or sleep and everyone crying.  I figured by the time #3 got here, 1 and 2 would be on the same schedule (one nap a day, walking around) and could stick together with a care giver while the baby stayed home.  I could get let’s of help to care for the baby (very close Inlaws who wish they could just have all my kids move in with them forever, ability to hire help) so that could ease some of the awfulness.

I guess what I’m trying to think through is how beyond less sleep is it awful. I know someone will say “it’s a whole additional person” but before having 1 it was hard to imagine why a baby is tough, before having a second it wasn’t really on my radar that the second would make the first more difficult just bc of his adjusting to baby, so I’m trying to understand my blind spots

I want a 3rd bc kids are awesome, I want to raise another person and kids my kids siblings for a warm home life long term (not a guarantee I know).  I just hate all the ways the first year limits your life if they’re difficult babies so I wouldn’t want to get to the stage of like a 4 and 5 year old and then have to go back to no travel, lots of naps,etc[/quote]

I don't know if you should have a third or not but I just wanted to mention that your whole POV here is very myopic. If you actually got pregnant with a third right now, what you would have is a 3.5 year old, a 1.5 year old, and a newborn.

That 3.5 year old is not going to be napping anymore, most likely. So you do not get a break in the middle of the day. They will start having extracurriculars and activities and playdates that you need to think about. I have an almost-3.5 year old and while she is getting more independent in a lot of ways, we are still constantly needing to tend to her needs, like snacks, the potty (omg), crafts set up, milk, etc. And she talks constantly. And have you moved your kid out of a crib yet? That's a huge sleep setback IME.

The 1.5 year old will be walking around, yes, but also getting into EVERYTHING. So you have a wide awake 3.5 year old who still very much needs your attention, who you are racing to the potty every hour or two, who is possibly getting out of bed multiple times a night; a 1.5 year old who is climbing furniture, throwing toys on the ground, sticking all of your 3.5 year old's little toys in their mouth, needing their diaper changed, having tantrums, etc. AND a newborn who is nursing 24/7, screaming, needing to be held for every nap, waking you up every 2 hours, all night long, etc.

I found the age of 2-2.5 to be this kind of magical stasis where my kid was chatty, happy, sweet, and self-sufficient, and I also almost convinced myself that the hard part was over. A year later I still love my kid but the hard part was NOT over! Now she doesn't nap, she gets out of bed, she looks me dead in the eyes while defying every word I said, her meltdowns are EPIC. And honestly my 3 year old is pretty easy/agreeable by comparison to her friends, as far as I can tell.

I am honestly not trying to say if you should have a 3rd or not - I am personally still on the fence about a third so what do I know? - but as someone who is just slightly ahead of you with my oldest I wanted to tell you that you are not out of the woods with that one. I don't know if there is an age where they honestly do get easier or not, but [b]I do know that 3 is not it[/b]. [/quote]

Threenagers are real.  I am the PP who is pregnant with her third and my two will be 5 and 3.5 when third is born.  I got pregnant when the second was still 2 years old.  Thank god.  Because she hit 3 with a vengeance and I am so I am already pregnant because she would make me reconsider doing this again.  Sweet as pie one minute and an absolute insane banshee the next.  Praying we turn a corner when she turns 4 but I have a long way to go before then! [/quote]

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