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Reply to "How to deal with family member who plays victim ALL THE TIME"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ignore, back away from all of them. If she makes $250, she is very comfortable and probably also gets child support. She needs to manage the money better.[/quote] Cant. Tried it. MIL expects DH to always help as family is family no matter what was said or done by SIL. They always have excuses but I have reached my breaking point. I honestly will have a nervous breakdown one of these days. There is no pleasing them, nothing is enough. [/quote] It is up to your husband to deal with it. Discuss with your husband what you feel is a tolerable amount of charity (whether $x/month, $y/quarter, $z/year, etc) and leave it to him to handle. I am a husband and I come from one of those types of family. I had to learn to put my foot down. I will budget what we think is an appropriate amount and find a way to portion it out. I have told my mother that I can only afford so much before payday. Or that I have to wait until I've paid for such-and-such before I can give out any more. Like the time I told my mother that we had to have the roof repaired and until the bill came in, I couldn't give any money to my sibling until I knew how much it was going to be, how much could be financed and how much my payments were going to be. Then I gave my sibling a certain amount of money (not the full amount asked for) after the dust settled. He should know that it will be hard the first few times and you have to set up some pretty big excuses (getting roof repaired, grandkids braces, car broke down, etc) and dig your trenches, but it can be done. And then once it becomes the new norm that you have to prioritize your family, house, car, life, first, then the expectations are that after you've handled your priorities, you'll give sibling money. But it can be done. Talk to your husband, come up with a plan and let him execute.[/quote]
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