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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother won't come to us on Christmas.  First, she'd have to fly, which won't happen.  Also, she takes great pride in her Christmases.  Like I said, we don't go out there every year, but she always hosts a big spread for friends and other family.

Thoughts: 
A PP made a comment about me being too worried about what my sister says to other family members about me.  Believe me, it's not that.  I've been down that road, I know she says all sorts of crazy shit, but I also know that my extended family members think she's full of it.

Handling things with dignity is a BIG DEAL in my family.  Yes, I know that it leads to having a wayward crazy amongst us; however, to the PP who asked why I stayed the day after she assaulted me, the answer is: so I wouldn't ruin my aunt's wedding.

That does basically make me and the rest of my family enablers.  We know my sister is batshit crazy and we put up with her anyway, for the sake of trying to keep everything as normal as possible.

Finally, why should she be allowed to get away with this?  Yes, it's an immature question. I guess I'm just very angry that I have to change my plans and pull my kids from the family Christmas because of my g.d. sister. I'm just tired of being the one who has to "fix" the problem all the time.  So, yes, in some ways going and having an escape route, like a hotel, sounds better to me than missing out and having her ruin something once again.

Yes, I'm realizing it's a horribly dysfunctional family after all, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to spend time with all but her!
[/quote]

OK, I just re-read this and realized that if my best friend wrote this, I'd be very worried about her.  I'll talk to my DH about cancelling the plans - I don't know how I'm going to deal with my mother, but one thing at a time I guess. [/quote]
Good for you OP.

And I hope you realize that your sister is the only one who ruined your aunt's wedding. Had you left it would have been a perfectly reasonable and dignified response.

It sounds like you are all making excuse upon excuse to rationalize why you have to put up with your sister and let her ruin your get togethers but the truth is that you don't.

Please seek therapy to deal with this. And read the book Life Skills for Adult Children.[/quote]

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