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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok, I hear you all. OP here.

She wants a school that’s hard to get into. She’s wanted it for various reasons on her own. I’m really not a helicopter parent. I’m here to tell her you’re aiming for x, you aren’t going to get there without y.

I’m a loving mom who wants to guide their kids in the direction and path they chose. She wants to achieve something and I’m part of guiding her there. I’m not a monster.

Not an elitist either. It’s my kid driving this train.[/quote]

Then leave her alone.  Back off.  And stop with this bullshit excel nonsense.  She's either motivated to do it, or not.  But you're coming off as a controlling insane shrew.[/quote]

OP again. I hear you and I disagree. Teens want certain things and as parents your job is to mentor them. My daughter should absolutely understand her competition - what it takes. That’s all up to her of course. Why am I getting thrown out of bed for eating crackers over here... I’m just telling her this is what you’d need to do if you want x. [/quote]

I agree with you OP. If your daughter wants something, as a parent we need to provide guidance and direction to them. I think what I see here is from your posts (which are more informative as you post more) you are focusing on outcome not process. It’s process that gets to the outcome that will lead to success.

You might want to read Parenting with Love and Logic.

One last thing. And this is a cautionary tale. I have a kid who was very driven. He then got derailed due to work that seemed more than he could handle. He got so focused on the great that he could not turn in the good. It didn’t take long before he totally fell apart. And here’s the other thing. I hear from doctors my kid has seen that this isn’t an uncommon problem in 9th grade. An ER doctor told me that November of freshman year of high school is really busy with kids who have fallen apart over not meeting expectations in their first year of high school. [/quote]

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