Reply to Complicated Grief and my late friend’s husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is strange to me that you think that you care more about the child's interests than his father does. It is beyond not your business that he's marrying, having babies, or who he's leaving money to. Please do not speak to anyone about this. Not all feelings are valid and deserve to be attended to. This is one that you need to let go of because it's not even close to appropriate for you to be concerned with someone else's inheritance.[/quote]

DP here:
The problem I envision is that the older boy and new step-mom may not get along. She may encourage the dad to cut off college payments, if issues arise: "Oh, we have a young baby and two other kids from my previous marriage. We really need to keep all our money right now. Timmy can just take out some student loans to get by."

Recently deceased DW probably worked hard to save for her son's college. That may be at-risk. Plus, it sounds like Dad will need to put three other kids through college.

If my DW ever passes away, the first thing I'm doing is getting a vasectomy. Having a baby at age 50 is just telling everyone that you won't retire until age 70. No way.

[/quote]

And yet, it is still not OP's business, since it's not her child. OP's concern seems to be that the widower has moved on and that her friend is forgotten. That is almost never the way that it works.[/quote]

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