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[quote=Anonymous]I grew up with parents who were fine 95% of the time but did not handle conflict well. My father would sometimes explode when he was annoyed and yell, curse, or punch the wall. My mother would stew and then give the silent treatment or rip into me much later and then give me no chance to respond. I never recall witnessing a calm discussion/argument. Either the problem was avoided or someone snapped.

I thought I was handling it OK. Nobody ever hit me (nor did I ever fear it) or called me names. But as an adult, I cannot bear conflict. I once had to hide in a bathroom for 15 minutes at work because two people were shouting at each other in a meeting I was in and I felt the overpowering urge to flee. Afterwards, I cried in my office (if I hadn’t left I would have cried right there in the meeting). When I witness other parents arguing with their kids or sense a conflict is coming, I feel panicked. I once ran out of someone’s house because their teenage daughter got in a long fight with them in front of me and I was falling apart listening to it. I thought I’d gone without revealing how upset I was but they called me later to see if I was OK so I guess I didn’t. I hate that I can’t handle it but it feels like a reflex. Arguing starts and I want to run away and cry because in my experience, fights mean days of walking on eggshells and internalizing everything and waiting for the next episode. I think I’m overly sensitive to begin with so maybe it wouldn’t be like this for another kid growing up with my parents, but it left big scars. Only in the last few years have I realized how big. I navigate with my parents now by simply avoiding and not telling them anything unpleasant. [/quote]

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