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Reply to "Handling family members who are not self-aware"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]YOU lack self-awareness if you can't see you're a victim and a martyr. Stop being such a willing participant in this dynamic. Grow up, open your mouth, say no.[/quote] I can see how op keeps repeating this, though. My FIL can be the same way. Sometimes I'm surprised at the things he says and does, even knowing his personality. Being surprised by unpredictable behavior doesn't make one a "willing participant." As for op, I think as parents we all occasionally make the mistake of finding ourselves without a snack or trying to push dinner just a little too late. It happens. But how was op supposed to know that her father would take this particular opportunity to behave like a child, then gaslight her, then lecture her? Yep, obviously all problems could be eliminated by being prepared, always, for anything. But that's not how life works.[/quote]
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