Reply to Boyfriend of 1 year just sent me an article about a local swinger's party...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]...and I'm not into it. Am also feeling sad, as it's yet another in a series of indicators that we're not on the same page.

We're both divorced parents; him x 7 years, me x 3 years. His kids are teens, I have one 6 yo DS. We've dated for a year, it's gone well, met each other's children around month 8. And in the last 3 months things seem to have stalled.

I've made it clear that I want to get married again, that with a young child it's a priority for me. He was less emphatic about that but understood my position. He needs to move in the next year for his job and I explained that with children involved, we'd need to be engaged before I moved anywhere with my child. He's brought up multiple geographic locales; I entertain the conversations briefly but firmly circle back to my original position: no ring, no move. Sorry to be a hardliner, but I have a lucrative job that I enjoy here in Washington. DS's dad is (unfortunately) uninvolved so that does not prevent a move, but if/until I merge households my financial independence is crucial. Even after a merge, it's crucial. Anyway we've navigated the conversations with maturity and they've gone well. Now this.

Since I'll be asked, I'm high drive and our sex life is pretty intense. I might even be open to his suggestion somewhere down the road. But at 1 year, with kids involved, before we're permanently committed? I feel stung and like I may need to step back from all of this. I'm looking at the math and it's not adding up to the likelihood of success.

His answer when I asked why he sent me the article: "I was just sharing". Sure you were, buddy.

I know the answer here: this is what dating is for, move on, etc. People dating in their 40's with kids will get it: cutting bait at the year mark is sometimes necessary. But it sucks.[/quote]

A year is plenty of time to decide if you both want a future. Apparently he doesn't.

That article he sent is showing you he has a disturbing side you may not have seen. I would send back a article on STD's and it's effect among people. Then I'd dump him. Plenty of men want to get married, you need to find that out on the coffee date. Most have that in their profile, not sure why you wasted your time with him if he wasn't keen on a relationship leading to marriage. [/quote]

Most men aren't discussing marriage on the first date, what I assume you mean by "coffee date" and they aren't putting it in their profile - you must be married, fat or ugly or all of the above. No one does this.[/quote]

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