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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My BIL was estranged from the in-laws for the past 15 years.  Lives 10 minutes away from them and never saw them.  My FIL is in hospital nearly died and BIL came to visit.  They are treating him like he was never estranged.  They treat him like he is amazing that he finally made an effort.

Who knows why they do it, maybe it's just easier because people don't like family tensions.

You don't have to help this other sibling.  They haven't helped you, you don't need to fly out to them when they need care, who cares what other family think.   The sibling can't estrange themselves and then demand help, they made the decision to cut themselves off, the consequence is distant family relationships. If you needed help would this sibling help you now, probably not.

Be civil be polite and wish them well, that's all that you need to do.[/quote]

This is our family in some ways. It is fascinating to me how the estranged or somewhat estranged depending on the family can become the golden child upon return in dysfunctional families. I've seen this in my own families, in extended family and a friend's family. I think it is fine for a family to welcome the person back and want to have a good relationship, but it's like the person gets put on a pedestal.[/quote]

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