Reply to Would You Punish This Behavior and If So, How?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with you about saying "no" to the game.  We faced something like that when my kid was the same age.

After that, if he dealt with it poorly but kept you informed where he was, I'd handle it with a discussion and not a punishment.

All that said... if you knew over the weekend that he wasn't preparing, and you knew where things were headed, you set him up.  Don't do that.[/quote]

OP again, and thank you for these last comments. In hindsight, I see that now and I see our error.

Over the weekend, he definitely wasn't studying like he should have. When we learned about the tickets on Sunday, I guess we were expecting him to swing into action to get ready for the test -- study Sunday night, talk to his teacher about it on Monday, etc. I should have known that wasn't a likely outcome, at least for this particular class.

We will talk to him about violating our phone rule (you respond to parents when they're trying to contact you) and also for the running/ staying out. But I will also apologize for not fully investigating his test situation from the beginning, and dangling the tickets as a reward for being prepared, when I should have known then he wouldn't be ready.[/quote]

Me again, OP, since you like the advice I gave.

I agree with posters that Sophomores should be handling their own time management, but the fact is, many aren’t fully ready. Mine wasn’t then. We set some rules to make sure things got done on time to avoid exactly what happened.  And at least for us, a surprise batch of tickets would never have made it through the front door. What I would recommend is that you keep your involvement to process: help with teaching him about to-do lists, setting up a study schedule for the weekend, and spend your limited parental capital on reenforcing good behaviors and managing the complicated electronic environment the kids face.  Test performance is out of their control, at least in part, so we never got mad about poor performance.

This test will probably have gone poorly. My son would tell you to be sure not to punish him twice for the same behavior. You already took away the game for bad prep, so leave it at that and work with him on doing better next time.

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