Reply to Have you ever made your wife cry?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, he made me cry. We were both dealing with a stillbirth. I was grieving and had serious hormonal stuff on top of all that. He was dealing with it by trying to not grieve and use logic to make me feel better. There were tears, lots of tears because of the horrible logical unfeeling things he was saying. [/quote]

he was trying to help you. it's a terrible thing to go thru but i wouldn't put this on HIM. [/quote]

I wasn't saying it was intentional. But after the 5th time you've made your wife cry, you'd think he'd learn. It took a gigantic blow up fight for him to understand what I needed. [/quote]

Looking back, you still think he deserved it? [/quote]

Do you mean did we need to have the gigantic blow up fight. No I don't think a fight was necessary. But after being very clear what I needed "Just hold me while I cry" and him telling my all the logical reasons that I didn't need to cry and crying was just making me feel bad and it was illogical to do something that made you feel bad, Yes, we needed it. And Yes he deserved it. I'm not one to make my husband guess what I needed. I told him. I told him while calm. I told him while I was upset. I told him. He was trying to convince me that it wasn't what I needed. And if I just did it his way I wouldn't feel sad anymore.

And I was a mess for about 2 months and got through the worst of it.[b] DH's grief came out at weird times over the next couple of years and he'd take it out on me. And 4 years later, he still can't talk about it without getting upset. So his strategy of just not dealing with it has just dragged out the grieving process.[/b] [/quote]

You didn't give him chance to grieve. You made it all about you and only you. [/quote]

I have no idea why I'm engaging in this with you. I did give him a chance to grieve. But he didn't think grieving was necessary because he logically thought of all the reasons being sad and grieving was unnecessary. He wanted the entire experience to be done and over like a week after it happened. And to never talk about it again. I would've welcomed him grieving. I would have felt less alone while going through it. [/quote]

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