Reply to Vent--No more capacity to deal with DH being a drama llama

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you’ve gotten a lot of great advice here Op. I think it helps to break it down as you really have three separate issues going on:

(1) division of labor: most of us have struggled with this. As others have suggested, throwing $ at the problem and hiring help is the easiest. Otherwise it helps to be very specific with DH because it seems men sometimes can’t “see” what needs to be done. When my DC were small I put DH in charge of laundry- all of it. I told him if he did 100% of it- on his own timeline just get it done- I’d be happy. He did. I continued doing most everything else (cooking, cleaning). Mine would rather have an “area” he is 100% responsible for than have to coordinate with me on other things.

(2) DHs “issues”. Maybe he is depressed, maybe it is situational (job stress, he is not good with toddlers), maybe it is something else. Who knows. Try to get to the bottom of it. Wait for a good time to talk and suggest all that you can depending on what he says...exercise, a doctor, etc.

(3) how to manage yourself in the meantime while this is getting figured out- you have gotten many good suggestions about walking away, doing your own thing, etc etc

Good luck OP! We are all behind you. I really hope this is just a “blip” for your family- it happens. Hang in there. [/quote]

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