Reply to Vent--No more capacity to deal with DH being a drama llama

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

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Since you both work and have a higher income than when you were SAH, may I suggest that you consider throwing money at the problem?  Get a house cleaning service or a mother's helper to come in and do some of the housework.  If you hire a mother's helper, they can do things like laundry and dishes and general cleaning, maybe even come to the house for a couple of hours each afternoon and make dinner and do basic cleaning.  Alternatively, start to order from shopping delivery services.  When our twins were young and we were both working out of the home, for a while, we started ordering groceries on Peapod and scheduling the delivery to the house at a time when one of us would be there to receive the groceries.  It wasn't the best (fresh produce was one where they didn't pay much attention to quality back then), but that and a monthly cleaning service significantly reduced the stress on both of us.

So, look at the things that cause the most stress and see if you can hire someone to do that for you so that you can reduce the tension between you by eliminating one of the sources of stress.[/quote]

Definitely get a cleaning service if you can.  It's helped saved my sanity.  If I'm not worrying about cleaning bathrooms and the kitchen floor, then the little things I have to do on a daily basis don't bother me as much.  My husband definitely doesn't do 50% of the housework, nor anything close to 50% of the kid work, despite us both having FT jobs with long commutes.  He does do yard work and car maintenance, so I remember that and let him slide.  But that biweekly cleaning service is worth every penny.  If OP can swing it, maybe give up something else (for me, I've been forgoing a new car, keeping my 10 year old one limping along), I think it can take some pressure off.

Won't change her husband's attitude or outlook though, but maybe lighten OP's load.  FWIW, my husband is similar.  He comes home from work, complains about his job, his boss, everyone there is an idiot, it's so boring and tedious.  And then he gets himself so worked up, he blows up with one of the kids over something stupid.[/quote]

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