Reply to Vent--No more capacity to deal with DH being a drama llama

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Reply to "Vent--No more capacity to deal with DH being a drama llama"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I think DH also just got really used to having a stay at home wife while I was out of work. I've asked plenty of times for him to pick up some slack now that I also work full-time, and it will go okay for a week or two but then he slips back into his old habits. I can't not make dinner--we have a kid who needs to eat. I can't stop grocery shopping--again, kid needs to eat. I can't not do dishes--I've tried, it only ends up attracting bugs AND we then have no clean plates to eat off of. I can't not do laundry--gotta have clean clothes (although I have taken to only doing mine and the kid clothes). I really think some good marriage therapy could help us tackle this, but like I said he refuses.

My end goal is not to move to DC and divorce. My end goal, I think, is for us to stay married and both secure somewhat fulfilling jobs back in DC because we both love the city. We held on to our little rowhouse because the intention was always to return.
[/quote]

Since you both work and have a higher income than when you were SAH, may I suggest that you consider throwing money at the problem?  Get a house cleaning service or a mother's helper to come in and do some of the housework.  If you hire a mother's helper, they can do things like laundry and dishes and general cleaning, maybe even come to the house for a couple of hours each afternoon and make dinner and do basic cleaning.  Alternatively, start to order from shopping delivery services.  When our twins were young and we were both working out of the home, for a while, we started ordering groceries on Peapod and scheduling the delivery to the house at a time when one of us would be there to receive the groceries.  It wasn't the best (fresh produce was one where they didn't pay much attention to quality back then), but that and a monthly cleaning service significantly reduced the stress on both of us.

So, look at the things that cause the most stress and see if you can hire someone to do that for you so that you can reduce the tension between you by eliminating one of the sources of stress.[/quote]

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