Reply to My adult step-daughter wants to move in with us

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For what it is worth we live in a very small house. She never lived with us for more than a weekend at a time as her mom had primary custody when they were kids. We get along fine, [b]i just work too hard and have worked too hard for too long to get to this nice stage in our lives where we can relax and be ourselves to have the dynamic in our home upended.[/b][/quote]

Well...you did marry a man with a kid, so you never should have counted on that guarantee.  Especially before they were all established in adulthood.  Your concerns are valid, sure.  But your DH has a responsibility to parent his child, and even though she's a young adult it will serve her much better if she has support right now.  You certainly don't need to be a doormat, but I do think being generous while helping her launch will go a long way toward family happiness down the road.[/quote]

This is not a child. This is a grown up who is not employed in a great economy. And not in school. Mom is urging her to get a job and instead of doing so she is trying to loaf off dad instead[/quote]

She's only 22, and she's still her DH's child.  That never changes. As much as OP would love to be the "tough love" adult here, that's just not her role.  The best she can do is go to a family therapist with her DH to figure out some boundaries.  But if OP's position is that she will never have to do anything to support her stepchild now that she is over 18 - not good.  [/quote]

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