Reply to Parents wanting to leave $1M home to sibling

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I get that this seems really unfair to you. But honestly, why does it bother you? If they decided to donate it to a charity they loved, would that bother you as much? Is it because you think that parents should treat children similarly?

I get that, but I think still, it is their decision. You can tell them you were hurt by this. I think that's ok too. But make sure they know it's not an issue of the property but of wanting to treat everyone similarly.

BTW, my mom left me way more than my sisters. It's because I sent my mom money every month for decades. And because I loved her so much and did the most for her. In the end, i took what she gave me and split it between the three of us (in my mind, my mom owed me nothing). Maybe your sister will do the same.[/quote]

Why does it bother her? Come on. Her sister is going to sell the house and then her children can go to college with the funds and get a head start in life. Meanwhile OPs children may have limited college options due to finances.

[b]OP would have a front row seat to how her parents favored her sisters children over hers. It would be a hard pill to swallow to watch her nieces and nephews benefit from the grandparents inheritance while her own children got nothing.[/b]
 
That’s a shameful legacy for the parents. I wouldn’t want to be remembered for favoring one child over another and creating tension between my children. [/quote]

x1000

Believe me, a parent that favors one child one another is NOT remember favorably - ever.  I guess that tis the choice a parent like that makes - but then again, that kind of thing was probably happening all along, so I am sure people outside the family are well aware that the parent was not a very good parent. [/quote]

Maybe it wouldn’t even be apparent right away while kids are in school, but believe me there would be a thousand ways that OP would see how her sisters children are benefiting from her parents inheritance while her children get nothing.

College is the tip of the iceberg. What about weddings? Down payments on houses? And maybe once grandchildren are in the picture, her sister even gets to retire a few years early to spend more time with her family. It would take superhuman levels of grace for OP to watch all that play out over the next 10 or 20 years and not feel resentment.

What does OP tell her children? This is not the same as if the grandparents had left their estate to charity - if they had done that the sisters families would have been treated equally. Favoring one child/grandchildren over another is so wrong. How does OP defend her parents choice to her kids?  “Sorry kids! Grandma and grandpa only cared about your cousins family. They didn’t even think of leaving anything for you. And it’s none of our business anyways!” Knowing this would tarnish anyone’s memories of the grandparents. It’s basically guaranteeing that your children and grandchildren will be estranged.

Why do this?

Also, OPs parents suck for telling her this. Now they’ve immediately branded her greedy if she asks that they treat her and her sister the same. This is the dynamic that OP will be dealing with her sister for ever. That is such a horrible thing for parents to do.

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