Reply to double standard for girls and boys..but I can't help it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can’t imagine sending my DD the message that I distrust her so much I can’t give her the same privileges I gave her older brother. There’s really no way to justify that kind of sexism. [/quote]

This is awful, OP. Your DD should have the same privileges. What exactly are you afraid of? She will get kidnapped? Raped? Highly highly highly unlikely. Your son is more likely to have trouble. [/quote]

I’m appalled OP that you are so casual about your sexism here. It’s also disturbing how naive you are. While yes, the potential concerns for teen boys and girls are likely a bit different I think 14 year olds are EQUALLY as likely to get in trouble after dark. Your son is just as likely to be with boys who speed, damage property or verbally or physically assault girls while out in a group of teens as your daughter is likely to be verbally or physically assaulted or lured away from her group by an older boy. If you know your kids and their friends then the likelihood of any of the above is LOW but that’s bizarre to me that you’d punish your daughter for being a female. Spend more time talking to your son about appropriate behavior and policing the behavior of other boys in his group or kids from school and less time imagining how you’ll just lock your daughter up at home. [/quote]

If your two children are only a couple of years apart, they are both very aware of what you allow each one to do and are already making assessments of how "fair" you are (typing as a mom of a 13 year old and 16 year old)  Treating your daughter so differently to your son (assuming that you do so when she turns 14) will have a lot of unintended consequences for her and your relationship with her that you should carefully consider -- you are basically communicating to her that you don't trust her, that she is not as capable, and that instead first stepping back an examining problems/issues in life, she should just meekly accept that she benefits less.  And even if your words say something different when you talk to her, your actions will have a greater impact.

And yes, as other posters have said, chances of your DD developing a deep resentment, anger, and turning to hiding and lying as an older teen will go up – just a natural response to how you perceive her and treat her.

And BTW --yes, you can help it -- that's part of being an adult.

and last word, really, your scared to let a 14 year old get ice cream with friends after a football game?? Your job as a parent is to teach your child how to navigate the world she is entering -- this sounds more like a co-out to me . . . . but good luck

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