Reply to Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude

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[quote=Anonymous]Expecting a child of a messy divorce who did not have extensive family and individual therapy to be emotionally mature and forgiving and loving towards her parents is like expecting a kid who has never had a lesson to start speaking Mandarin.  If that was what you wanted from your child, it was on you to teach her how and provide the resources she needs to develop those skills.  Kids don’t become mature and empathetic magically when they hit a certain age; they have to see those traits modeled by their parents and have help practicing them.  Your expectations aren’t unreasonable for every teen, but they may be for your daughter.

You can decide to give up on having a relationship with her as an adult and cut her off so that you don’t waste any more money on someone you are choosing to cut out of your life.  But if you want to continue to have a relationship with her, then refusing to pay for college at the last minute because she hurts your feelings is not going to get you there.

So what is your goal?  Cutting her off so that she can’t hurt you again?  Or keeping the relationship going.[/quote]

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