Reply to Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I could have written your post 15 years ago when my DD was that age.  Same situation with divorce & attitude.  I had the exact perspective and comments to DD (love is unconditional, money is not). What she heard & understood was that I wasn’t going to be there for her.  It took over a decade to repair our relationship.  I so regretted having taken a hard stance and being rigid.  I paid off her college loans a few years out of college.  She’s 32 now, we’re closer, but I’ve never stopped wishing I’d been a soft place to fall for her.  Your DD is smart and awesome, but she’s being pissy now.  Love her through it.  Please.[/quote]

This.  My DD has a fried who is in a similar position as your DD.  I know that in her case, she has found her father unreliable.  He has flitted in and out of her life.  Sometimes wanting a relationship, then other times cancelling plans.  Generally proved himself to be unreliable.  Take a hard look at whether her anger is justified. Even if you've been an excellent co-parent, did you and her mom screw up her family life?  Did you handle the divorce with her interests being paramount or did you fight about money and litigate your divorce for years.  The facts surrounding the divorce DO MATTER. Only you know all the adversity you DD has overcome.  If she's lashing out at you, she may have a reason.  If she hasn't learned to put others' interests above her own, she may have learned that from you. Maybe not. . . but I think loving her through it, while asking her to be kinder is the way to go.[/quote]

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