Reply to BIL's Wedding - Big Deal if Only DH Attends?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
It does not sound like you have an invitation in hand yet. Until you know that your children are actually invited you don't need to decide. If your children are not invited then you get an easy pass to stay home with them. If they are invited I would let your FIL pay for the trip. As others have said this is your husband's only brother. You are showing your kids how you want them to treat each other.

I am very into family and literally every vacation I've taken for the past 5 years, since having kids, has been to visit family. I drove 10 hours to Michigan for my grandfather's 90th birthday celebration with a 3 year old and a carsick 4 month old. And it was awful. And everyone said they couldn't believe we did that although they were grateful. Guess what I learned from that? Family can be reasonable.

In this situation I would send just the DH. The expense and difficulty factor are too much. My cousins recently skipped a major family wedding because of expense and issues with young kids. No one held it against them. Sure, there was regret that they couldn't come, and they were missed, but a wedding is one day. It's not a referendum on how the relationship will be for the rest of your life -- or it shouldn't be.

I get that, but this is DH’s only brother. As in literally the #1 wedding in his LIFE for the family to suck it up for including wife (and kids, if able to and invited). Yes, in this case it is a referendum on the relationship. It shows that his only immediate family besides his parents couldn’t bother to support him for his first wedding. That would hurt most anyone’s feelings, I think.[/quote]

No he would not! It would hurt YOUR feelings because you value the event and a wedding is a big deal to you. The wedding is not a big deal to BIL. He will not be hurt.

Some people are VERY into weddings. Some people are just interested in the marriage do the wedding things out of obligation to their family, their future spouse or just because this what people do. They could care less whether you come to support them or not because it isn't something where they feel they need support. 
[/quote]

Are you the OP.  If so, why did you even post if you're so sure about what you need to do?[/quote]

Nope, not OP[/quote]

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