Reply to BIL's Wedding - Big Deal if Only DH Attends?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here - Wow, lots of strong responses which is exactly why I asked!

To further clarify, we *really* can't afford the cost.  We live a in a cramped condo that needs a lot of work.  We are desparately trying to save to move into something more suited for a family, in an ok school district but are struggling to cover the cost of the repairs required before we could even list it. I've only been on a plane once in the last 10 years and the tickets were a gift. Our family vacations typically consist of driving to see family.  Our big splurge this year was 3 days at a DelMarVa beach.

As for the details about BIL, yes, I am not his biggest fan.  There's a lot of history there - lying, theft - that has nothing to do with me and has resulted in trust issues and a lack of closeness between the brothers.  DH was surprised he was asked to be in the wedding party, but his brother doesn't have many friends and his fiancée wants a large group to match hers. I don't think BIL would care at all if we weren't there.  There are also a bunch of aunts, uncles, and other extended family that will attend. I guess my thinking is that if BIL doesn't even want to attend his own wedding, why should I compromise my family's future to be there?[/quote]

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