Reply to SAHM of teens — Crucial responsibilities

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am one of those pps that always posts teens need you more than toddlers! Emotional support, driving them to places, allowing them to go to concerts but driving them, like that club 9 30(prior to hearing what a slimo owned it). Even having before bed time talks with them, telling them to call you. I told my dd that I am happy to get her lunch at school, and I did. I quite my job when she was about to be junior as she was getting in trouble. Weekly mom and dd outings to movies or a restaurant, Ok I went back to grad school because it was boring too, but it was the evenings and nights that were exhausting. Museum on the weekends, doing things together, knowing her friends, just it was exhausting. But it was worth it, my dd told me she loved knowing that if she needs me I am there, I had no idea tat prior to that she kind of resented that she could call me but I couldn't come. Simple things like if she makes a team, you go and guy balloons and put them in her room, you make a nice team dinner for all teammates, you bring everyone snacks, you show up for every sporting events she/he is in. They really do care and they do want it even when they tell you, "I don't care."[/quote]

You can do 80% of what you described while being a working mom. Even 100% if you have flexibility. I guess if you have a high needs / SN teen it makes sense, but if you have a normal kid, how are they ever going to adjust to life at college if they’re used to you being at their beck and call all day? If someone wants to SAH with their teens then go for it, but don’t pretend you’re doing it for the kids.[/quote]

I feel sorry for posters like this because I think you truly don’t get what you’re missing and what your kids are missing out of from just having a parental role in their lives while you’re at work. The most troublesome kids I know have parents that work a lot or are just So busy with their own social lives that they leave their kids either alone or with sitters more often than not and then those parents often go out for social obligations a few times a week as well at night so the kids are left fending for themselves. Teenagers need parental guidance even if it’s just occasionally sitting in the other room reading a book or doing your own work while they’re right next door in the other room or Giving them rides to and from their various activities. The most important conversations I’ve had so far have come when I least expected it and they opened up to me when I least expected which was during those times I was carting them around or talking in the kitchen making dinner or going out to dinner. OP I get the feeling you’re not really a stay at home mom because if you were you wouldn’t be posting this because you would know the various things you could or should be doing during the day. I don’t know any stay at home mom that just sits home all day looking around wondering what they’re supposed to be doing. They generally only have about six hours to themselves and during that time they have a variety of things they do and take care of. [/quote]

By the way I have been both a working mom and stay at home mom and I can tell you my kids, family, and I am much happier as a stay at home mom Because when I worked the free time I had was all spent on me alone. I had barely anything left to give to my kids or my husband  and on the days I would do the reverse and spend all my time on my kids then I started to lose my sense of self. [/quote]

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