Reply to Coming to terms with paying so much for an unmotivated student who hates college?

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[quote=Anonymous]My wife and I went through this with our son, it's indeed frustrating especially when you know the potential is there.

Our approach was to sit him down at the end of his freshman year in order to discuss where his head was at, map out the pros and cons of college in terms of what he wanted out of life, where we thought he was under-performing and what we viewed as realistic and acceptable grade targets based off of his past performance as a student.  This ultimately led to an agreed upon target for mid and end of sophomore year GPA performance.  He clearly understood that if the mark was missed mom and dad were out of the college money game as he would have clearly indicated that he had other interests.  His choices would be move back home, get a job and pay a reasonable room and board while learning a trade or take the leap and venture into the world by living on his own, joining the Military etc.
  
He made progress sophomore year but unfortunately didn’t achieve the agreed upon end of year goal so we upheld our end of the deal and we stopped the gravy train.  He came home that summer, started framing houses, paying us rent (which we set aside for him) and after a rough half a year of swinging a hammer, not getting paid due to weather or limited work and being constantly annoyed by his teenage sister that while being a carpenter is a great profession for some, college was more his thing.

He made the decision to return to school, buckled down, upped his game and did very well his final 2 years.  He’s now a Park Ranger out west and loving life with plans to pursue a Master’s soon. 
 
Long winded but at least lets you know others live with this and it is definitely a solvable situation that can have a good ending with some conversation, guidance, support and a sprinkle of tough love.... good luck!
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