Reply to UPenn's Head of counseling and psychological services commits suicide

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's the thing I struggle with understanding, and I mean this with kindness as my life's been touched by suicide too. Do you think it's possible for someone to just kind of lose control/snap and their body goes into autopilot and does it? Like as easily as I can lose my temper and raise my voice with my kids after a tough day/week. Or do you think it's always more intentional/thought-out? [/quote]

I’m the upthread suicide survivor. And speaking only for myself, I fought hard for over a year. Medication. Counseling. Getting out of bed and taking a walk. Going to work. Trying to take care of my kids.  But it didn’t get better.  It literally was a long, dark tunnel and I could find the light at the end.  I kept looking for it and waiting and struggling.  And at some point, I was just too exhausted to light anymore. It’s holding on to a life preserver for days and waiting to be resumed, and eventually being too tired to hang on anymore.

So no— not a loss of control. Not a bolt out of nowhere.  I was saved because my husband tried to call from work and couldn’t find me. In 2005 pre-smartphone would not have worried too much.  But left work and came home because he knew.   But that’s me. [/quote]

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