Reply to Divorce threats

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t see why we have to be so black and white with things. There are probably major stressors that are causing this type of language and a serious communication barrier impeding effective and healthy discussions. I don’t think that failure means one needs to throw a ten-year life together away...maybe try intensive therapy together and see where it goes. If all is exhausted, then sure...but that’s the problem with America...everything is so drive through and marriages and divorces are all expected to be quick fixes. [/quote]

OP here: it would be one thing if we had ever been happy. I ignored red flags, almost cancelled the wedding, and almost left at the first divorce threat. It has not ever been “a life together”—it has not been a shared life. We have had separate lives the entire time. “Trying to work it out” has wasted 10 years. This is an instance in which the marriage has always been a mistake and we should have admitted the mistake within the first year and gotten out immediately. There has been no joy...only misery. This is not lack of trying...that trying has wasted our time. People should understand that they are couples who truly should not have married in the first place.[/quote]

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