Reply to SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s weird, I read about this kind of thing on here but in real life all I get are “aren’t you lucky” type comments.

The people I know irl seem to be irritated or hassled by at least one aspect of their jobs though. It’s only in DCUM that people LOVE their jobs so much that they’d continue working after winning the lottery.[/quote]

I haven't dealt with outward judgement, as there are quite a few long-term SAHMs in my neighborhood.

However, as the years wear on, I notice that I've lost several close friends from earlier stages in my life.  The cold reality is that, everywhere other than DCUM, having a dual WOHP household is very much a miserable grind.  What's typically happened with some old friends is that they hit some difficult situation, and despite me trying to do everything I can to be supportive, they'll lash out in some way or other.  I think our lives just look too different right now and when the going gets tough, they're resentful that they're not better situated.  I have found this to happen even when I'm dramatically supportive of my friends who are going through a tough time.  I'm very aware that anything can happen and that it could be me one day.  For example, I had a friend move in after her divorce.  I tried to help the most I could, but I just don't feel like she wanted to be supported by someone in a situation she envied.  Same story with another close friend who fell on very hard times due to a job loss and some health issues.

It sucks.  When women know you don't work, it seems to be all they see.  What helps, I find, is that I play it very close to the vest that I don't really work.  I still technically do some very, very, very part-time consulting in my old field - which is a profitable niche - so I just talk about that when I'm asked what I do.  I explain that I work part-time, and mostly from home.  I can still talk a blue streak about my old field, so casual acquaintances aren't really the wiser.[/quote]

Pretty sure you’ve already posted this.[/quote]

Lol. Nope.[/quote]

Then you have a life twin who can’t keep friends over 40 because her life is awesome and theirs suck.[/quote]

Oooh it does sound kind of like her!

Whether the other PP or not, I would agree that some friends get weird when you are doing better than them, even though of course “doing better” fluctuates.

Anyone can hit a rough patch but as I get older I avoid people likely to end up in high drama situations. I’d be there all day long for a steady friend who got blindsided by life but avoid the types who make bad decisions or who always seem to have one issue or another due to outlook and mentality - being there for people like this is always thankless and not reciprocated, I’ve found.[/quote]

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