Reply to If one parent SAH or works limited hours, what is division of labor?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I SAH.  DH works in big law.

I do almost everything with regard to the house, chores, etc, including yardwork etc.  BUT we have enough money that I can outsource quite a bit.

DH and I are 50/50 WITH the kids, when we are both home.[/quote]

This.  My DH is also biglaw and I stay home.  I manage the household and do the laundry/grocieries/calendaring/meals, but we have a lawn service (mowing/weeding/mulching), maid, and don't DIY a ton of home repairs. But DH is 50/50 with the kids (or maybe a little more) when he is home. [/quote]

OK, my DH also in biglaw, but he is NOT 50/50 with the kids when he is home (and I work FT, but a normal 40 hr job). Do your DH's not get last minute calls/assignments/emails? Or do they go back into the office for those? Or am I taking your words "when he is home" too literally and you mean when he is not working?

FWIW, my DH is a partner, so it's not like he is junior and gets assignments, but when he gets a note from a client he is super responsive so I feel like DH is always on call. As a result the division of labor is like 95/5 because he can't reliably commit to doing that much housework or child care (we have young kids) and I don't want stuff dumped on me at the last minute (like grocery shopping) because a client called as he was walking out the door and now we won't have stuff for the kids' lunches. [/quote]

NP.  My DH is an equity partner, and like some of these other posters, we are 50/50 with the kids (sometimes he does more with them) when he's home, and I manage 95% of everything else but outsource enough that it's totally reasonable and fair (I SAH).

DH has always said that he couldn't do his job if he weren't very good at establishing boundaries.  Just like he wouldn't immediately return a call if he were in an important meeting, or on a call with another client, he won't immediately respond if he's "on" with the kids (with a couple rare exceptions annually).

Seems a bit like BS if he's dumping stuff on you just because a call rolls in.[/quote]

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