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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP back.  Thank you.

I agree with all of these comments.  I am going to take an online anger management course that I found and see if it makes a difference.

To be clear, my kids were not there.  I had dropped them off at school and come back to find all the stuff in the trash.  My husband had no problem with the cops showing up.  I am more upset about it.

I think my husband is part of the problem.  For instance, after this happened, we agreed to come up with a list of ways to make communication better.  I spent the day doing research and printed out a list of ideas, such as taking an anger management course. Then, when we were home and spoke and agreed to talk about it in the living room, I went in and waited for him for 5 minutes, confused, and then I went to look for him again and found him in the kitchen doing some sort of home improvement project.  Again, I lost it, but again, his reaction was that I was making a big deal out of nothing.  He "just" got distracted and forgot, and what does it matter when he goes to the living room.  When he finally arrived, I took out my list and showed it to him, and he was fine with the ideas, but when I asked him for his, he had done nothing all day, but what does it matter, because he agrees with my ideas.  It is like being married to a wall.[/quote]

OP I think you might be a sociopath. You recently screamed at your husband so much that the police were called. He's probably avoiding you. I would avoid you. I would also not make a list of things to change because I would not be the one with the problem. YOU are the one with the problem. It is nice that you made a list. It is nice that he is supporting your efforts. You are the problem and I'm sure it will take a while for you to repair your relationship. [/quote]

Maybe, maybe not. I'll bet plenty of people have at some point in their lives lost it to the point where police COULD have been called by an alarmed neighbor (depends also on the neighbor's threshold) but weren't. I think it is ALSO true that in some relationships one party has the ability (consciously or not) to passively push things to the point where screaming is the ONLY thing the other person is able to find gets an issue addressed. And likely there are other issues, and likely there are flaws on both sides.

Mainly, though, screaming is a horrible "solution" and is not really going to make you feel better about things.

A sociopath (I looked it up)--lacks empathy, sense of responsibility, moral conscience. It is not just someone who has a problem with anger (whether or not that problem with anger arises IN THE CONTEXT of a specific relationship). [/quote]

OP.  Yes I agree.  I need a better solution to screaming.  Retail therapy would work but I am a frugal minimalist so that is not an option.  Eating would work but I am a healthy, conscious eater so that is not an option.  I would like more family or relax time but I'm the main breadwinner.  Walking away is not an option because he follows me.[/quote]

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