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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP back.  Thank you.

I agree with all of these comments.  I am going to take an online anger management course that I found and see if it makes a difference.

To be clear, my kids were not there.  I had dropped them off at school and come back to find all the stuff in the trash.  My husband had no problem with the cops showing up.  I am more upset about it.

I think my husband is part of the problem.  For instance, after this happened, we agreed to come up with a list of ways to make communication better.  I spent the day doing research and printed out a list of ideas, such as taking an anger management course. Then, when we were home and spoke and agreed to talk about it in the living room, I went in and waited for him for 5 minutes, confused, and then I went to look for him again and found him in the kitchen doing some sort of home improvement project.  Again, I lost it, but again, his reaction was that I was making a big deal out of nothing.  He "just" got distracted and forgot, and what does it matter when he goes to the living room.  When he finally arrived, I took out my list and showed it to him, and he was fine with the ideas, but when I asked him for his, he had done nothing all day, but what does it matter, because he agrees with my ideas.  It is like being married to a wall.[/quote]

You need to do more than an online course. You let his lack of emotion get to you and while he may need to find a better way to express himself, you need to find methods the communicate to him during the times he doesnt always react the way you want.

You may also want to stop putting all this on him and focus on your end of things. While you realize you are in the wrong, you are really trying to bring it back to him in an attempt to be "fair". Accept what you are doing wrong and stop looking for his wrongs to counter, or justify why what you do makes sense. [/quote]

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