Reply to Adult friendships ruined by parenting and child behavior

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Adult friendships ruined by parenting and child behavior "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP: How do you know exactly what happened? If you actually witnessed the incident and she did not (and could not have -- e.g., she was in a different room), then her denying that it happened is essentially calling you a liar and probably means this friendship is salvageable. If there's wiggle room -- neither of you saw it and her kid denies it or whatever, then I think it depends on the specific facts; if she genuinely thinks the event is out of character and her kid denies it, then I don't think it's absurd that she would in the moment take her kid's side and that can naturally lead to defensiveness.

Separately, the jump to attacking your parenting style: Is this a case where your 3 year old got in her 10 year old's way and conceivably could have been accidentally hurt? Because -- while it sounds like there's plenty of blame to go around -- I do think there's a weird tendency of parents of little kids to let them interfere in older kids' games/use equipment intended for them in a way that often ends poorly and I don't think is entirely the older kids' fault. Like I've seen a bunch of kids playing basketball well together (8-10 year olds) and parents of a little kid (likely with siblings in the game) don't stop that kid from trying to insert himself in the game/actively encourage their Larlos to let Little Larlo hold the ball or whatever and then are super pissed when another 10 year old steamrolls Little Larlo while trying to drive to the bucket. Not, like, intentionally in the sense of that being their aim, but intentionally in the sense of them being aware it was going to happen/not avoiding it in the process of trying to score. Was it this sort of scenario? If not, how did your parenting style play into the incident? If at all, does her criticism have any truth in it? (It very well might not at all, I don't have all the facts here, I'm just asking b/c it's unclear how criticizing your parenting plays into the incident from your OP.)

Finally, the new stuff about how this 10 year old gives you the creeps, etc. It seems like you really don't like him. Now, it could totally be that this kid is a budding psychopath. But it could also be that you're imputing intention to him that isn't there and/or that the other mom can see that you don't like her kid, which would likely be really hard for her and naturally lead to defensiveness. TL;DR: Some 10 year olds are creepy, but calling a 10 year old creepy isn't your best look objectivity-wise.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics