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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Either:

1) Leave early (my vote)

2) Buy paper plates and such and totally fend for yourself with easy meals/take-out/dining out.

3) If ILs ask you about dinners or whatnot, [b]say, "We were the only ones providing meals, and frankly we're not doing that anymore. If you want to make a plan for the rest of the week, we'll participate and do our part, but we're not cooking and cleaning for everyone anymore[/b]."[/quote]

NP. Take the bolded statement; then DH says exactly that to everyone.[i] It should be DH and NOT you[/i], OP; his family is his responsibility to manage. And he does not wait until someone asks "Where's dinner?" He says this now, today, just before he and your family head out the door to do fun things with your kids all afternoon, eat dinner out and stay out until you want to come home.

DH should have had a firm "this is how things are" talk the minute someone else first put their backside in a chair after dinner without so much as offering to wash one dish. Extreme rudeness.

These relatives are indeed clueless and you and DH are reinforcing their laziness and lack of consideration every time you cook or wash a dish for them. He needs to tell them very clearly that you and he have done all housework and cooking and you're stocking the fridge with your family's food, labeling it and expect them to shop for themselves from this point onward until you leave. They will act all wounded -- "Oh! We didn't realize! We'll do dishes!" and so forth. DH pastes on a big smile, and says, "Our family's got plans to do some things with the kids so we won't be around much here the rest of this week. That's why we have to ensure our groceries are here for US to cook when we do come in. If you want, here's a 300-pack of paper plates you're free to use, but otherwise, we won't be around enough to do dishes either."

Then go out and have a family vacation without them. They want their tablets and phones anyway. If they complain and act hurt, DH and you need to smile sadly and say, "Yeah, it was fun to eat together but since no one else cooked or cleaned up, we're doing our own thing and know you'll enjoy doing your own thing too."[/quote]

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