Reply to If you have a daughter who is gay, in hindsight were there any previous 'clues"?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We knew my brother was gay long before he came out. No, he was never your stereotypical gay boy who loved glitter. He was athletic and for the most part "straight acting." But living with him for all those years[b] the little clues added up.[/b] I knew he was gay by the time he was 12 but my mother made it very clear we were not to talk about it until he was ready to talk about it. Which didn't happen for another nine years.

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May I ask what these were?[/quote]

Body language mainly. In those moments when natural instincts takes over, however briefly before self control kicks in, you see the mannerism, expressions, gestures. And other little things. He used to sneak and read Nancy Drews when he thought no one was looking. Always had a better appreciation for fashion than you might have thought even if he dressed typically for a boy of his age and background and I could always rely on him to give excellent fashion advice if I asked. Loved architecture and cooking and an appreciation for interior design. He was careful to try not seem too interested but one could still see it. And although athletic he shied away from contact sport. He was a runner, swimmer and tennis player. Gravitated towards female friends rather than male friends. You could see that he had to forcibly make himself to make male friends and he wasn't naturally at ease around other boys. Which is ironic as these days most of his friends are other men (gay of course) but childhood is a different time.

Many of the characteristics on their own don't say much, but it's when you piece all of them together that the picture emerges. I'm fully convinced there is a gay brain. As my brother says, most of his friends are "straight acting" and you wouldn't spot them as a gay man if passing them or even working alongside them, but if you put them together alone in a room, they change and it becomes much more apparent. Many gay men are very careful to control how they present themselves in public to avoid being seen as stereotypically gay.

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