Reply to Help! What do you do when a crazy narcissist escalates?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. We have been avoiding her and going no contact. We started off just declining every request politely and then started blocking her on the kid devices and not responding to emails. We did not block her from DH or my phone but we do not call her back or respond to her texts. She and another relative play the main point of assistance for DH's grandmother so we did not want to completely block her number from our devices in case something happened to grandma.

We lived several states away until a year ago. One of the reasons that we wanted to move out here was to be closer to DH's extended family. We wanted to be able to go to all the events. She has really ruined this for my entire family which sucks. There were other reasons why we moved here so we can focus on those. We enjoy spending time with MIL and SIL so its not as if we have to isolate from everyone. Its just a bummer that we now have such apprehension about any of the large family gatherings solely because of her. I wanted to find a way to civilly co-exist and enjoy the rest of the family without giving into her unreasonable demands and craziness.

DH's grandmother is very old, late 90s. I really do not want to avoid events where grandma will be because of the crazy aunt. I am worried that in the future she will show up at grandma's house during one of our one on one visits to engage in some crazy tirade. I want my kids to spend as much time with grandma before she passes. If grandma wasn't in the picture then we would just avoid any situation where we she would be.

It is freaking me out how obsessed she is with my kids. If she wasn't so hyper focused on getting access to them and freaking them out I really would not care whether she ranted and raved or whatever. I am very tough at work. I have never had any problem dealing with difficult people or pushing off bullies in my personal or professional life.  I'm usually pretty fearless. When my kids are a target, its an entirely different situation.

The next possible times when we would have to see her is if she crashes one our visits to grandma or Thanksgiving. We will avoid everything else. Grandma asked us to host it again this year but I think we will have to decline and just go on vacation somewhere instead because of crazy aunt. [/quote]

Let MIL and SIL know that you’re relying on them to pass along info about grandma if any news needs to be shared. Then you can block her completely. Send her emails to a special folder. Then go no contact for real instead of making excuses to keep her around. It’s not fun but neither is what you’re doing now. [/quote]

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