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[quote=Anonymous]OP again.  Thanks again for the very helpful thoughts and suggestions, and especially those who responded with kindness.  There are so many comments, I'm sorry I won't be able to respond directly to each, but here are a few additional thoughts:

Remembering to have a different perspective and to meet her where she is are really helpful reminders.  I don't think either she or we see her as aging.  I'm extremely thankful that she is in such good health, has a good appetite, takes care of herself financially, and is very sharp mentally, but she may physically be slowing down, which I could appreciate better.  Perhaps 1-2 trips to the store each week and daily dog walking are sufficient.  Being 40 years younger, if I had all that time to do whatever I wanted, I'd want to explore my new city, but need to recognize she may need to take it easy.  It's hard to remember that because when she's had friends visit us, she puts together a non-stop packed schedule and walks miles!

I also really liked the comment of not acting like a hostess if I didn't want her to feel like a guest.  Very much hit home.  I also really like the suggestion of helping her with a project in her space.  She has the whole bottom floor of our row home, which is brand new and built out with her own office/living space, bathroom, bedroom, and entry, but some painting or something else could make it feel even more like hers.

She stopped driving once she moved here, and is a total pro at getting around on the bus and metro (and chatting it up with all sorts of types of folks while doing it).  She even takes public transportation down to MGM, which is a feat of patience and skill.  I'm impressed about her ability to get around when she does get out.

No kids yet for us, but once we do, I know she will love to help out.  I love the genealogy idea, and us having a baby could be a good segue.

I also wasn't aware of the Village concept, and it turns out we have one in our neighborhood.  I've sent her info and reached out myself to find out about volunteering.

This poster's (07/30/2019 22:08) comments are really insightful and something I'll reflect upon going forward.

It was her idea and decision to make the move, and I recognize she gave up far more than us to make this happen.  In general, I've just been surprised (and sad) that this has been so much harder of an adjustment for us all.  Given the strength of my relationship with her, I mistakenly thought this would be a lot easier, so have perhaps spent too much time overcompensating and focused on whether she is happy or not, thereby adding to awkwardness.

I'm feeling much more positive about things today.  I realize our challenges could be far far worse.  Thank you again for your thoughts and ideas.    [/quote]

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