Reply to selecting a legal guardian for kids, grandparents not the best choice

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "selecting a legal guardian for kids, grandparents not the best choice"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I want to start planning some trips together and know we should select a legal guardian for our kids in the event something happens to us. My parents already declared years ago that we should choose them-- in fact, they assume we would-- but we whole-heartedly disagree. They have good hearts and good intentions but are over 70 and do not exhibit the best behavior and judgment. They are extremely religious, somewhat bigoted and we feel they would influence our kids in a way that would turn them into bizarre adults with strange hang-ups. For example, my mother has a lot of very "old lady" behaviors that seem to rub off on our kids when she visits, such as unusual dietary complaints-- that's too sweet! Too spicy! Too salty! And our kids repeat them until we program that out of them after she leaves.

DH's parents are older and not in good health, so they're out of the question. Both DH and I have siblings but one, his sister, lives alone and while a kind, responsible person, does not have the means and most likely will never have the means to look after kids. And my siblings are also single but have little to no interest in kids.

So, we are starting to look at our cousins and friends. DH has a married cousin he is close to who has the means and energy for kids but just never had any. We think he and his wife would be great. We also have been friends with a couple that is a little older, also without kids of their own but very energetic and down to earth and have become like family. We are thinking of asking both of these couples.

Has anyone else dealt with this situation, when family members just aren't the best people to list? Was there a bad fallout in terms of breaking it to the devoted grandparents who you would just never want to leave your kids with for years? 
[/quote]

When our first child was born we asked my husband's eldest brother and his wife to serve as guardians. Many years later, we re-evaluated and chose my brother and his wife. We changed our will and didn't tell my husband's brother. Didn't see the need to open that can of worms for 1) something that is unlikely to happen; and 2) I highly doubt my BIL and his wife are going to go to court or something. Their own kids are out of the house and they are about to become grandparents.

In your case, it might be worth it to consult with an attorney in your state. Choosing a cousin or family friends is more likely to invite a challenge, but I'd think you could add a written or videotaped statement.  I'm not sure I'd bring it up with grandparents unless there was no way to avoid the discussion.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics