Reply to if you overheard your child's peers talking bad about her...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok, first of all stop with the "mean girl" label. Girls are no more or less mean than boys! Second, people talk about other people. They do it all the time. The only thing that makes this different is that you overheard it. Someone you know and maybe like may well have said something not so terrific about you this week. I know it feels bad to hear but not everyone will like you nor will everyone like your child. Be glad your daughter didn't overhear it and move on. [/quote]

I'm a huge feminist and not a big fan of gender-determinism in general, but I think it doesn't do anyone any favor to ignore the gendered components of this kind of behavior, particularly among kids between the ages of 10 and 15.  The truth is that girl-group-think is qualitatitvely different from boy-group-think at this particular age.  (And maybe later -- have you seen the DCUM posts by women saying that any woman that does not paint her toenails is trashy?  I just can't imagine any man making an equivalent comment.)  Male bullying, particularly at this age, tends to take a different form.  And, for kids this age, relationships are somewhat harder to navigate for girls than for boys.  Ask any mom of a girl with ASD, and she can tell you how hard it is for girls who can't read subtle social cues.  It's brutal.  At this age, girls, in particular, are trying to define themselves and a large part of how they do that is through defining social groups, often through very narrow or arbitrary conditions (who likes a particular brand, who has a particular phone app, etc...)   It's a very difficult process for almost any girl to go through this, but particularly hard for girls that are socially atypical in any way, or that are not highly skilled in reading subtle social cues.  [/quote]

+1. Excellent post.[/quote]

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